Focus is a Soft Skill in Black Tie

Focus is a Soft Skill in Black Tie

https://x.com/philnobre/status/2079604439816532210

Focus is an elegant skill. It is not that kind of thing that the untrained brain would catch in a quick glance, but it is that one quality that silently shows everybody that you are one step apart from the mere mortal people. And by mere, I refer to those pretending to multitask while trying to give any sense to the “everythingness” of their to-do list.

Some people develop it naturally (mostly) without even realizing, just by paying attention. But those who really ace it, they are completely intentional and master it until it becomes… natural, instinctive, automatic. Do you know someone who remembers details of things because they were so focused that they excel at listening? What an elegant person. And more: how trustworthy is someone that actually cares about what they are doing? Marriages are saved on a daily basis because of focus and care. Promotions are earned by doing what must be done at the time it needs to be. Clients are acquired, retained, and upsold due to attention to details. On the focusphere, every little part matters, and just a trained mind can have it all. If you are not yet convinced that focus is what brings all this power, please stay close to me for the next few lines.

It is hard to say if someone is a focused person or not because it varies a lot due to interests, readiness, plus whatever is happening in their heads at the moment. So, everybody has their shining moments, but few have the constant capability to remain focused. Let’s state that if focus was a formula, it would be:

F = A x I x U x C (focus equals Attention times Interest times Understanding times Clearness of Mind)

So, let’s imagine that you’re paying enough attention to someone’s speech but not understanding what [missing word: is] their intent or goal. Or if you are understanding perfectly, but you don’t care about what they are saying. Or you have all of that (attention, understanding, and care) but your head is so full of noise that it doesn’t stick with you. The absence of any of these elements is what I call [remove "as"] a times-zero factor in your focus equation. Meaning: if you lack A, I, U, or C to the point of zero, your focus will automatically become... zero.

Another thing [remove "about that is"] very interesting about focus [remove "it"] is that there are levels.

· You know what to do and you keep doing only things that will help your pursuit of goals, favor your business, increase your relationship… That is Big Picture Focus.

· You are good at avoiding distractions and know how to start and finish things, there is a great chance of being a master of Single Task Focus.

· When you are doing something you are so good at that you can understand it in detail, easily catch flaws, and connect quickly to improvement and solutions... Also, if you enjoy doing that as if it was an extension of you: That is Tuned Focus.

One could be a Big-picture focused person and have awful single task focus skills, or even be a lousy tuned-up focus person. Maybe totally the opposite: excel at some specific thing and still be completely lost on the big picture, and so on. The elegancy lies in mastering the three levels and becoming some sort of focus monk.

In a perfect world, having only one thing to do at a time and just one big picture to pay attention to, would be a handful of help. That is virtually impossible once you become a grown-up and the walls of reality start falling apart. Silver lining: maturity also increases the ability to fake your brain into thinking that everything is not that much.

There is no recipe other than practice. Sometimes we need to switch some buttons to start to focus and that is pretty natural, once you know what is the right key to success.

· Scope your duties. Unfinished tasks are one of the most common reasons for a lack of focus. So, how could your brain believe that something is done if it is not done? Simple: break it down and schedule. If one task is too big, like perform a verification on a big list of clients, you can create three different tasks like check clients from A to G, then check clients from H to O, and check clients from P to Z. Then schedule in three different periods of time. That will help you: DO THE TASK easily and don’t trigger your procrastinating brain. Also, you are not due if the due date is not there, all right? Be clear on what means the start and the end of a task.

· Be Interested. Not everything is interesting, for sure. But, from the other side, if you have to do it, at some perspective this is important or at least mandatory. So, you have to find a bright side here. If you have to pay bills, think about how that task can optimize the cash-flow and turn it into a SAVE MONEY check-up. Schedule uninteresting tasks for only once a week or a fortnight, so you don’t have to deal with it on a daily basis. If you are listening to something that you don’t really care about but need to learn or know: think about the reason you are in need of that information? The sooner you understand, you will never need to go back to it again.

· Pay Attention: Attention is often mistaken for focus, when it is just a portion of it. In order to pay attention, you have to be PREPARED for that. Having a little research over the theme, subject, or the people involved will trigger curiosity which is the key for paying attention. That’s why funny things always get our attention naturally, because it's the kind of subject that drags you to it by its essence.

· Active listening. That is the second level of paying attention. Start grabbing the words as if they were your own. Put yourself in the other party's shoes, stop criticizing with no and mentally say “YES, that is right” to every single quote. Sound weird? Sure, but this is how you start being empathetic to the situation. Once you have a clear understanding of the other point of view, then you can start asking, what if NOT and begin the critical thinking.

· Don’t be prejudicial. That is one of the main reasons for getting lost in interactions. Once you decide that you are not on the same side of that opinion, you will naturally create a counter-argument and become deaf to whatever is coming next. Get along. Wait your turn.

· Clear your mind. You can get your mind clear of anything by either having no pending items, no urgencies, no having to deal with two or more things at the same time or… faking it. If you need to focus asap and have a lot of going on, choose what fits best: meditation or mindfulness exercises. Breathing exercises. Go out for a walk or do some workout. Wash your face with cold water. Perform a sensorial checkout: think of five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can feel, two you can smell and one you can taste. Turn on some background music like the sound of nature or classical instruments.

· Study your subject. Knowing unrelated stuff about your client, task, goal, project, product, market.. This blooms the creativity side of your brain and helps to provide atmosphere and context which are important factors of focus. Also, read more and about random stuff. Put in your calendar to read at least two fictional and two technical books every year. Avid readers are ultimately focused people.

· Reaffirm your accomplishments. We do things for a reason, even if the reason is to remain alive. Train your brain to understand that in the past, once you dedicated yourself to tackling something out of your list, it turned into a victory, and try to almost savor the next one.

So, being focused is an ACTIVE activity for most people. Start being proACTIVE and build your focus around whenever you need. There are only benefits to it. You can optimize your time, have new discoveries and ideas from places that you less expect, and also make your brain take better and better decisions quicker. Be that elegant person in the room, remember: Focus is a soft skill in black tie and nobody can fight the authority of the guy in a tuxedo.

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